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The Most Important Decision You Will Ever Make - Playing to WIn

10/20/2013

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By: Stefan Aarnio
Freedomway.ca
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Too many people wake up in the morning at an average time, go to an average job, settle for an average relationship and live an average life.

There is nothing wrong with average, but the sad thing is, there is nothing right about being average either.

Years ago when my rock band split up and my dreams of becoming a rock star were smashed, I felt myself slipping from special to average. I was no longer the cool guy with the band, instead, I was just an average guy, with an average job, an average degree and I had no way to distinguish myself from other people. My identity was lost.

If there is one thing in life that I feared most, it was becoming average… But why did average scare me?

Average people with average lives scared me because I observed that they neither won nor lost. If life were a game, they were only playing to avoid a loss. Winning isn’t even an option for most average people because they are so terrified of losing that the thought of winning becomes an impossibility.

Unfortunately for everyone, average or not, life begins when we decide to “play to win”.

The Dalai Lama when asked what surprised him most about humanity, answered “Man, because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future, he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.”

So many people, every day, live their lives avoiding failure, avoiding loss, avoiding their dreams, their passions and their callings. We want to avoid pain, but when we avoid pain, we also eliminate the possibility of pleasure and joy. When we eliminate the possibility of losing, we also eliminate the possibility of winning.

Imagine a hockey team where every single player on the ice is playing defense. Imagine a real estate investor who never buys a single property. Imagine an entrepreneur who takes no risk and no action.

All of the examples above are destined to fail, by being unwilling to be exposed to failure, risk, pain and the possibility of loss, winning is an impossibility.

As an artist, I learned that art, to be art, must contain an element of risk. Art without risk is meaningless junk. The artist who takes no risk, produces no art. Surely, there will be hundreds or thousands of failures, but the true artist needs only one success and to justify a thousand failures.

Thomas Edison failed nearly 10,000 times before he discovered the light bulb. As an enlightened man he said “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that don’t work.”

Venture capitalists know that only 1 out of 27 companies they invest in will succeed.

World class salesmen know that they have to knock on hundreds of doors to make a sale.

Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team, and later became the most celebrated basketball player in history.

The Beatles were rejected by numerous record companies before landing a record deal. Today the Beatles are regarded as “the best band of all time” and they will likely hold the title forever.

Oprah Winfrey was told that she would never make it on television. Today Oprah is one of world’s richest women win the world and has her own TV network.

However, all of the above people have become world class successes and timeless success stories for the history books because they made a decision in their lives to 1) Stop playing the game of life so defensively aka: “not to lose” and 2) Start playing to win.

We only get one chance at life, we only get “one shot”, so make it count.

“If you had one shot, or one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted. one moment
Would you capture it or just let it slip?”

-Eminem

Thanks for reading,
Stefan Aarnio
Freedomway.ca
facebook.com/stefanaarnio
https://twitter.com/stefanaarnio
http://ca.linkedin.com/in/stefanaarnio

Get Stefan Aarnio's book "Money People Deal: The Fastest Way to Real Estate Wealth" at MoneyPeopleDeal.com!

Remember: Please share this article if you found it enjoyable!


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Coaching: Asset or Liability? With Shawn Shewchuk

10/23/2012

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By Stefan Aarnio
Freedomway.ca

Two weeks ago I had the pleasure of having dinner with Shawn Shewchuk, Author of "Change Your Mind, Change Your Results" and the #1 results coach in the country (when measured by results and speed of results.)

I was introduced to Shawn because he is currently coaching one of my real estate mentors on his personal growth and business.

Shawn mostly works with high achievers, entrepreneurs and executives to take their "game" to the next level.

Coaching can be a very nebulous thing to many people, it can be viewed as extremely expensive (Often $5000 to $25,000+) and (to the average person) can be viewed as a "rip-off" or a "liability". What I find to be fascinating about coaching is that the world's most successful people have multiple coaches and the more successful a person is, generally, the more coaches they have. 

What I have learned in my short time from working with a paid coach and mentor is that an unsuccessful person will view a coach as a liability, while a successful person will view a coach as an asset.

Of course, not all coaches are created equal; there are good coaches and awful coaches. You must discriminate with extreme prejudice. The best way to choose a coach is to find successful people and gather referrals, ask who is coaching them in their success.

Many coaches focus on one topic such as; business, investment, health, life, and success. What I found intriguing about Shawn was that he has built his coaching practice, business and life around a holistic approach to success. He believes that success must be achieved in all areas of life - not just one. 

Shawn believes that "Success is not available without balance".

As an entrepreneur, shawn has built businesses, sold businesses and has made very good money in his life, but understands that personal, relationship, health and career all have to work together because "money is important, but (it's) not everything."

As a young, driven, aggressive, male entrepreneur, I asked Shawn about balance. I often find myself too focused on business, goals and success. I will sacrifice anything for success (whatever that means) and I challenged Shawn's idea of balance or holistic coaching by asking him about the Dragon's on CBC's hit venture capital show Dragon's Den.

I have studied many of the successful Canadian entrepreneurs on Dragon's Den and have noticed that three of them have stated on television that "balance does not exist" in their lives. The Dragons are all very driven and successful business people who have sacrificed immensely for their success. When I asked Shawn about his opinion on balance when compared to the Dragon's on balance he replied "There is no such thing as balance; balance is what you make it".

A profound answer indeed. I have always thought of balance as being an subjective pursuit. Never did I imagine that balance could be different for everyone. This really challenged my thinking.

While we were exploring balance, Shawn pointed out that one of the Dragon's had lost his family in pursuit of financial success. Family, no matter how difficult they can be are a priceless once-in-a-lifetime experience. Family members are irreplaceable and trading primary and secondary relationships for a few extra dollars is unacceptable in hindsight.

The #1 concept I am learning from my current coach and from talking to Shawn has been that Coaches get you results and collapse time frames.

What may take a person 5 years to achieve alone, may take 6 months with the help of a qualified coach. I have seen results similar to this in my own business just from a single coaching call and a few emails, my growth has gone from linear to exponential and geometric. I used to do one deal a month and now I'm getting bombarded with opportunities and have achieved 3 deals in a week.

Most people are procrastinators, but what is the opposite of procrastination?

Sometimes it can make sense to define a word by it's opposite.

Shawn defines Strategic accountability as the opposite of procrastination. Where the average person will sit on the couch and eat potato chips, Shawn builds strategies with his clients and holds them accountable to their goals and plans.

Procrastination is an absolute killer for most people because it kills ideas, kills actions and ultimately kills dreams. "Most people don't think, they float through life" All ships that float without a navigator end up smashing up on the rocks eventually.

Shawn has worked with over 6000 people in his career and only 3 have not been successful in their pursuits after working with him. What was their key to failure? People who fail with coaches think that they are going to get a magic bullet to solve their problems over night. I used to experience this years ago when I used to teach guitar lessons to young people. Too many of these young people wanted to be sprinkled with a magic pixie dust instead of taking the REAL steps towards success.

After speaking with Shawn for 30 minutes about coaching and the benefits of hiring one, I asked Shawn the $1,000,000 question:

"How many coaches do you have?"

This is the million dollar questions because whenever someone is in a business or industry, I always want to know how much of their own product they consume. It shows integrity and congruence.

Shawn's reply was very good: "I have three." Although Shawn is located in Calgary, his coaches are scattered across North America on the east coast USA, Toronto and Western USA. I was impressed to learn that Shawn's first coach was Bob Proctor; the man behind the hit movie/book The Secret.

I personally have two coaches at the moment and the strategic planning and goal setting alone has made my business explode in the last 30 days. If you want to speed up your rate of success, begin to search for a coach, and don't hesitate to spend some money. Nothing is free in this life and you get what you pay for. Free advice, although attractive at the beginning, is ALWAYS the most expensive of all in the long term.

Thanks for reading,
Stefan Aarnio
Freedomway.ca

P.S. Please share if you found this article helpful





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Congruence: How to make Billion Dollar Decisions like Jim Treliving from Dragon's Den.

10/10/2012

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By: Stefan Aarnio
Freedomway.ca

Picture Left: Jim Treliving, Owner of Boston Pizza and Dragon on Dragon's Den with Stefan Aarnio

I had the great pleasure and honour of being in the "right place at the right time" in September this year when I was casually driving by a Boston Pizza on Taylor Avenue in Winnipeg and the sign outside advertised that Jim Treliving, current owner of the 1 Billion dollar pizza company: Boston Pizza and more notably, Venture Capitalist on the hit TV show Dragon's Den was doing a book signing.

I saw the sign in my peripheral vision and immediately went in to the Restaurant to see him. I am absolutely fascinated by Venture Capitalist shows like Dragon's Den and Shark Tank because I love evaluating business models and watching people pitch for money - it's a very visceral experience.

My two favourite Dragons on Dragon's Den are Jim Treliving and Kevin O'Leary. My reasoning for these two choices is:
  1. Jim is the most practical, down to earth, and hard working Dragon. He has a real  street smarts from being a cop and has a "work till you drop" grinder mentality. He is often the Dragon on the show that the other Dragons look to for advice and if Jim is "in on the deal" then everyone wants to jump in. If Jim is "out", the deal often dies. He is a true leader and often leads the group of Dragons, quietly from behind the scenes.
  2. Kevin O'Leary is the most honest and real of the Dragons. He delivers a hard dose of reality and although many people think he's mean and harsh - he delivers the cold hard truth every time and can actually save entrepreneurs from BAD BAD BAD ideas. There is no shortage of bad ideas on the show, and Kevin punishes them mercilessly. After he tears their bad ideas apart, these entrepreneurs should pick themselves up off the floor and thank him for the beating.

When I arrived inside the Boston Pizza Restaurant, there was a line of people waiting to get their books signed. I had come in off the street and was ready to buy a book but the restaurant would not sell me a book. I immediately dashed out the door and had to run through the rain (in my suit) to purchase a book at the local McNally Robinson. I could not miss an opportunity to meet Jim and get him to sign his book.

Meeting Jim was was a humbling experience. He is 6'4, so am I, so we see eye to eye and I noticed how well he handled all of his fans who were there to get their books signed. He is very gracious and takes a great interest in children who want to get into entrepreneurship. jim has a great respect for all people big and small and it was a pleasure to exchange a short conversation with him.

When I got home, I immediately devoured his book "Decisions" in one day and the book is fantastic. It takes you through Jim's entire life from being born to building Boston Pizza into an international pizza empire with 1 Billion dollars a year in annual revenue. I also learned at the event, that Jim is (likely) the wealthiest of the Dragons because his Real Estate holdings set him head and shoulders above the others in accumulated wealth.

It has been close to a month since I finished JIm's book and the #1 take-away for me is Jim's decision making style. Often, entrepreneurs and real estate investors have the tough, tough job of calling ALL the shots for the team. Decisions need to be made throughout the day. Sometimes entrepreneurs have to make 100's or 1000's of decisions  in a single day depending on the activity level of an entrepreneur. Strategic Decisions are exhausting, complicated, dangerous, risky and most people are AWFUL at making Decisions *period*.

Jim's book is rightfully called "Decisions" and over and over again, Jim breaks down his decision making style, which I have implemented in my own business.

Jim's style of decision making is as follows. We have 3 decision making parts in our bodies:
  1. Our head
  2. Our heart
  3. Our gut

People often make poor decisions because they assign the types of decisions to the wrong body part... 

For example: Many people make financial decisions with their heart and will lend money to relatives in trouble. These same people are surprised when their relatives do not ever pay them back. Lesson: Financial Decisions should NEVER be made with the heart.

Likewise, When Jim was young, he had the opportunity to make fast, easy money in the oil trade which began to boom in Manitoba. Oil was the fastest, quickest, money that a young man at age 17 could make with no training or education. Jim knew he could make more money than his father right out of school and was seduced by the allure of fast cash. However, he also saw many young men get ruined by the "easy come, easy go" lifestyles of fast, unearned cash. However, Jim knew in his heart that he would be unhappy in the oil industry and would eventually dread getting out of bed in the morning. Instead, JIm wanted to full fill his childhood dream and join the RCMP. He knew, from a young age, that needed to become an RCMP officer and wear the badge of honour. Lesson: Make "work/career" decisions based on your heart and NOT your head. Never base work decisions on salaries, bonuses or money. Money comes from passion and energy, it does not come from labor.


When Jim was in the RCMP, he was trained to see through deception and use his gut to evaluate people on the street daily. Jim became very street smart while stationed in a rough mining town in BC and dealt with the rowdy population on a daily basis. He learned to only use his gut and NEVER his heart when judging people. Lesson: Judgement calls about people need to be based on your gut, never the heart, never the brain. The gut can sense what the heart and mind cannot and the gut is rarely wrong when judging character.


One of the most important decisions Jim ever made in his life, was a seemingly unsuspecting moment one night when he was in his mid-twenties and his fellow co worker asked him if he wanted to eat "Pizza or Chinese?". Jim knew nothing of Pizza, didn't know how to say it, didn't know what it was and had no interest in it at all. He walked past the original Boston Pizza every day without ever thinking about taking a look inside the building. Pizza was a foreign concept and JIm spent no time investigating it. 

However, Jim kept his mind open, and made the decision to try something new (Pizza was new at the time), he took a chance and walked into the restaurant that started the Boston Pizza legacy. He instantly fell in love with the owners, the atmosphere, the menu and most of all - the experience of sharing and eating this strange new food called pizza with your hands. Lesson: You NEVER know where your next greatest opportunities and passions will come from. Keep your mind open and make the decision to take risks and try new things. If Jim had only said "I will only eat Chinese food after work like I always do", he would have never been introduced to his flagship, signature business that shaped him into the great man he is today.

To recap: Jim's simple, yet extremely effective decision making style focuses and simplifies your decision making energy:
  1. Decisions about money need to be made with your head. Not your heart or your gut. Your head is logical, cold and analytical and the numbers don't lie. Numbers and money are a cold calculated game, do not get emotional or you will get burned.
  2. Decisions about your work, your passion and your path in life need to be made with your heart. Your heart holds your passion and your passion will push you through any obstacles that get in your way. Do not make work decisions with your head or you will find yourself eventually unable to get out of bed in the morning because you need to be in LOVE with what you do on a daily basis.
  3. Decisions about people need to be made with your gut. Your gut is a 6th sense and can tell you if someone is genuine or not. Do not make decisions about people with your head or you will judge them incorrectly. Similarly, your heart can lead you astray if you judge people with your heart.

Jim has found in his 70 years of experience on this earth and 40+ years in business that this system does not fail.

I myself have implemented JIm's decision making style into my own business and have ignited my passion, tightened up my business model and can read people better than ever before.

It's simple and sound advice from an extremely successful multi-industry tycoon. If you get a chance, pick up JIm Treliving's book "Decisions", you will not be disappointed with his 70 years of knowledge, understanding and real life experience.

Thanks for reading,
Stefan Aarnio
Freedomway.ca

P.S. Please share this article if you found it helpful to you.

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    Stefan Aarnio

    Stefan Aarnio is a Real Estate Investor, entrepreneur and artist based out of Winnipeg, Manitoba.His real estate website is Freedom Way Joint Ventures  His art can be seen at http://stefanaarnioart.com

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