By Stefan Aarnio
Freedomway.ca

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Image: Would you rather have half a watermelon or a whole grape?

According to Robert Kiyosaki, there are 4 types of people in the world: Those who want to be liked, those who want to be comfortable, those who want to be right and those who want to win.

• People who want to be liked are motivated by what others think of them. They don't want to "rock the boat" and want to be everyone's friend.
  
• People who want to be comfortable are motivated by their comfort level. They don't want to be pushed outside of their comfort zone and want to remain in complete control of their comfort.
  
• Those who want to be right are motivated by winning arguments and asserting their authority over others. These people will win an argument and don't mind losing a friend in the process.
  
• Those who want to win are motivated by "winning" and getting what they want in life above all else. These people will lose an argument to win in the long term.
  

Each one of us wants to be liked, comfortable, right and win, but the question is, which of the 4 types motivates us the most?

In negotiation, business and deal-making, success depends on our desire to "win". Creating win-win situations is the most important skill in negotiating or deal making.

• When negotiating with people who want to be liked, these people will give up key positions just to maintain their likability. This makes people who want to be "liked" bad negotiators, but easy to make deals with.
  
• When negotiating with people who want to be comfortable, they will never give up positions of comfort and this makes them harder to make a deal with.
  
• When negotiating with people who want to be right, they will argue over non-critical points until they kill the deal.
  
• When negotiating with people who want to win, they will do whatever it takes and give up any position just to win the position they need in the negotiation. These types of people make the most effective negotiators.
  

Mark Cuban has used the following line on the hit TV show Shark Tank many times "What would you rather have? Half a watermelon or a whole grape?"

When negotiating or making a deal, we need to ask ourselves, are we willing to sacrifice some of the things we want so that we can end up with a watermelon and not get stuck with a grape? Negotiation is always a"push and pull" process where the objective is never to obliterate the other side. We have to create win-win situations so that both sides end up sharing a large tasty watermelon.

Unfortunately, we all have personality traits and qualities that can inhibit our ability to negotiate effectively.

We all have the ability to be great negotiators and great deal makers, but unfortunately we also have many opportunities to be deal-killers.

I have identified 11 questions you can ask yourself to find out whether you are a deal maker or a deal-breaker.

13 DIAGNOSTIC DEAL-MAKING OR BREAKING QUESTIONS:

1. Is your personal profit on a single deal worth more than the lifetime value of the relationship with the other side? Yes or no?
   
2. Do you take more value than you give? Yes or no?
   
3. When doing a deal, do you try to get something for nothing? Yes or no?
   
4. When negotiating on key points are you looking at the big picture or just the minor details? Are you focused on the forest or the trees?
   
5. Do you need to win every point of a negotiation? Can you give in on less important points?
   
6. Do you care what the other side gets as long as you get what you want?
   
7. How many deals have you done this year?
   
8. Are you easy and pleasant to deal with? Or are you hard and tough to deal with?
   
9. Do you go back on your word? Is your word your bond?
   
10. Will you try to kill a deal that you are not a part of? Will you try to disrupt or block someone else's deal?
    
11. When great opportunities come up, do you get called first to participate? Or do you get called last or not at all?
    

13 ANSWERS FOR DEAL-MAKING OR BREAKING QUESTIONS:

1. Lifetime value is always worth more than personal profit on a single deal. Networks and relationships are always worth more than a single deal. If you are too focused on transactional profit, you may be a deal-killer.
   
2. If you take more value than you give, you are a deal-killer. Deal makers always give the other side much more value than anticipated. Think value, not price.
   
3. If you try to get something for nothing, you are a deal-killer. Nature is based on inputs and outputs, it is impossible to get something for nothing in this world.
   
4. If you are obsessed over the small details of a negotiation and fail to see the big picture, chances are you are a deal-killer. The best deal makers can see the big picture and find flex on small details.
   
5. If you need to win every point in a negotiation, you are absolutely a deal-killer. You are also probably a painful person to deal with.
   
6. You should not care what the other side gets, as long as you get what you want. Someone will always get more than you. Focus on what you want and forget about the other side. This is key in deal-making and in life. Happiness comes from getting what you want, not getting what the other guy gets.
   
7. If you are not doing as many deals as you would like, you are likely thinking like a deal-killer and not a deal-maker. It might be time to change our mindset.
   
8. The number one personality trait for top negotiators and deal makers is personality. If you are not a pleasant and easy person to deal with, then you are likely a deal killer. Personality is #1.
   
9. If you go back on your word, you are a deal killer. Integrity is extremely important in making deals. Get this fixed immediately if it's a problem.
   
10. If you try to disrupt someone else's deal because you are not in it, you are a serious deal killer. Avoid this at all costs. Allow commerce to happen and opportunities will flow towards you.
    
11. If you do not get called first for a deal or business opportunity, chances are, you are a deal-killer. Work on your negotiation and your personality skills to increase your chances of getting the best opportunities first.
    

Neogitations, business and life are all very simple games. To quote Zig Ziglar "You can get everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want." Effective negotiation is a skill that revolves around people and people skills. If you can eliminate the 11 ways to kill a deal above, there is no reason why you can't sell more, transact more and have better more fulfilling relationships.

Thanks for reading,
Stefan Aarnio
Freedomway.ca

P.S. Please share this article if you found it helpful!

By Stefan Aarnio
Freedomway.ca

Remember: Please share this article if you found it helpful.

In October, 2012, I had the wonderful opportunity to spend the day with George Ross in Chicago. George Ross is Donald Trump's lawyer, right hand man and business partner on select deals. George became famous on the hit TV show "The Apprentice" and although he has written books on negotiation, closed some of the world's most exciting real estate deals, he is more famous for sitting in Trump's board room than anything else.

George has been practicing law for more than 50 years and has closed more deals than any other lawyer. He has taught university courses on how to negotiate hard deals and has written two books on negotiating. With a lifetime of accomplishments behind him, George has lived a somewhat anonymous life until he fired a few "kids" on "The Apprentice". After being featured on the Apprentice, George is famous for firing people with Trump.

George Ross has dedicated his life to negotiation, it's a topic that has fascinated him and it is one of the most important skills required to be successful in business.

The two skills that most entrepreneurs fail at, according to George Ross are:

1. Time Management, and
2. Negotiation

Those are the two skills that separate the top from the bottom in entrepreneurship.

One study on negotiation that George shared with us was "the Top 3 traits desired by CEOS for top negotiators"

THE TOP 3 TRAITS FOR NEGOTIATION

Years ago, 150 CEO's were contacted and were asked for the top 3 personality traits desired for the company's best negotiators. The Top 3 desired traits were indeed very surprising:

1. Personality
2. Knowledge of human nature
3. Ability to organize information

Negotiation is a people game and all of the traits above are all people skills. These results surprised George when he saw them. However, when we look deeper into each trait, we can see why these traits are highly desired.

NEGOTIATION TRAIT #1: PERSONALITY -  if people don’t like you, they won’t negotiate with you. Successful negotiation depends on whether or not the other side likes you. Negotiations are PEOPLE TO PEOPLE. Before the days of cell phones, Ross used to ask “can I use your telephone to make a quick call?” Once inside his opponent's office, George would take a peek at items on their desk so he had subjects to talk about like golf, wives, mistresses, baseball etc. In one office, George saw a huge fish on the wall and Said “you must love deep sea fishing”. The man he was negotiating against said “I do!”… George said “I Love deep sea fishing too” (George knew nothing of deep sea fishing, but ran with it. )


TIP: Google a person before you engage with them so you know a little bit about them them before you try to talk deals. Try to learn as much as you can about the other side.


NEGOTIATION TRAIT #2: KNOWLEDGE OF HUMAN NATURE - People are basically predictable with what they do. Due to human nature, you can see what they do and rely on it. If you use this, you can see patterns in behaviour and predict a person's next move. 

Typical human nature: Everyone loves a "Freebee" such as "buy 2 get one free". This tactic exploits human nature and people end up with 3 things they don’t want. 


Exclusivity: Everyone wants what they can’t have. This is why “limited edition” is so effective. 


Scarcity: “Last 2 items" and Time sensitive offers are extremely effective negotiation tactics: “this deal is no good after 10 days” or "70 day supply for free, just pay the shipping." George reminded us that NOTHING IS FREE, especially in negotiation.


Another pillar of human nature is "The AURA OF AUTHENTICITY" which is the tendency people have to look at something and believe that it is true. If something is in print, people believe it to be true: “I read it in 'The Times' therefore it’s true". Of course, a reporter’s opinion is just an opinion, "but if it’s printed in 'The Times' then IT’S TRUE".  Celebrities are often used to endorse products for “Truth”. 

In retail environments, the Aura of Authenticity is often used with a tactic called "Suggested Retail Value". Often you will see something like this in a retail store:

1. RETAIL VALUE $700, 
2. today’s price $500, 
3. you save $200, 
4. SALE THIS WEEK ONLY $450 
5. you think “I’m making money by making this purchase, how can they afford to sell me this item?" people are convinced that the price is real because the price is in writing. Car dealerships have the suggested retail price that is ridiculous, no one ever pays that. The brochures look so amazing and beautiful, you believe it.  These are negotiation tactics that are slanted against you.

The third key negotiation trait is the ABILITY TO ORGANIZE INFORMATION: Most people are bad at organizing information and this makes them bad negotiators. Most people use sticky notes to store information and can’t organize them. 


Years ago, George took a course in time management and the professor said "ALWAYS KEEP a spiral notebook and leave it on your desk, everything you do goes in that book". George thought this idea was a "crock" until he saw a spiral bound notebook on Trump’s desk: Keep a log of daily events. 


PRIORITIZE… when orders/papers/statements/tasks come to you, make 3 files A, B ,C:

1. The "A file" - everything that has to done quickly goes here.
2. The "C file" -  everything that can wait is C
3. The "B file" - everything that is nether an A or a C goes in the B file

Eventually everything in the files will be sorted and done. Ignore the things that are not important. 


Pay attention to the 80/20 rule, 80% of your income comes from 20% of your clients. Concentrate on the 20% and forget about everything outside of the 20%. THE REST IS NOT WORTH IT. 


Don’t waste time in tasks that will not create a tremendous reward. 


Don’t try to grab every dollar, just get the first 20 cents, that’s where all the money is. 


After spending time with George Ross, I have since purchased a few books on negotiating and am becoming a student of negotiation. Everything we do in life is negotiation and we must study negotiation to be successful in our endeavours.


What are you doing to improve your understanding of negotiation?


How can you become a better negotiator?


Which of the three traits are you weakest at?


Thanks for reading,
Stefan Aarnio
Freedomway.ca


P.S. Please share this article if you found it helpful!