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Are you living a life of convenience or  a life of choice?

4/1/2013

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By: Stefan Aarnio
Freedomway.ca
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Get Stefan Aarnio's book "Money People Deal: The Fastest Way to Real Estate Wealth" at MoneyPeopleDeal.com!

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Jim Rohn, an american entrepreneur, once said "If you don't design your own life plan, chances are you'll fall into someone else's plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much."

I always struggled with the idea of getting a job. Some people call their job a J-O-B which stands for Just, Over, Broke.

From age 17 to 24 I struggled every year with employment. When I was in university, every summer, I had to go out and "get a job" to pay for next year's tuition. Every year I would procrastinate, the idea of a job bored me, and I felt in my heart that I didn't want to work for someone else. Every summer was different, I worked at Tim Hortons, local restaurants, odd painting jobs, and even had a short taste of direct sales. Nothing felt good and every year as the summer would approach I felt myself feeling depressed.

In 2008 when I graduated from university with an Arts degree, the game was over. My parents and society both agreed that it was time to leave the fantasy world of school and join the "real world" and get a "real job".

I had made most of my money in university by teaching guitar lessons out of my mother's living room and had made a good little cash business out of it. I also played numerous music gigs throughout the city and had experienced the life of being self-employed. Now that I was done school it was time to "wake up", shut down my little business and join the real work force.

I followed the advice of my parents, society and the status quo and got a real job in telephone sales. I worked in the middle of the night, on straight commission and although I was one of the top performers in the office, I only made about $10 an hour selling on the phone. My life was completely upside down, I was making less money at my "real job" than I was making it my guitar teaching business, my quality of life was the lowest it had ever been, and I was isolated by working the graveyard shift.

After a few weeks of working my real job, I fell into a depression. Everything I had done was "right". I went to school, got a degree, and got a job, but I was living a miserable life and was making less money than I made in school doing things I enjoyed less.

What was wrong with me?

Looking back, I realize that I was living a life of convenience, not a life of choice. Everything that was in my life came to me by way of convenience. Nothing was consciously chosen by me and this was the source of my unhappiness.

They say there are only two sources of unhappiness in the world:

#1 is not getting what you want
#2 is getting it (not what you want)

When we get something we do not want, unhappiness ensues.

The downward spiral of unhappiness and dissatisfaction continued for years until I learned to take control of my own mind and use it towards endeavours of my choice.

As the great Napoleon Hill writes in his book "Think and Grow Rich":

Everyone comes to this world with the privilege of controlling the power of his mind and directing it to whatever ends he may choose.

At birth, everyone carries the equivalent of two sealed envelopes:

  1. The RICHES You May Enjoy If You Take Possession Of Your Mind & Direct It To The Ends Of Your Own Choice.
  2. The PENALTIES You Must Pay If You Neglect To Take Possession Of Your Mind & Direct It
In the contents of the first envelope named RICHES are the following blessings:
  • Health
  • Peace Of Mind
  • A Labor Of Love Of Your Own Choice
  • Freedom From Fear And Worry
  • Positive Mental Attitude
  • Material Riches Of Your Own Choice & Quantity
In the envelope labeled PENALTIES are the prices one must pay for neglecting to take control his/her own mind:
  • Ill Health
  • Fear & Worry
  • Indecision & Doubt
  • Frustration & Discouragement Throughout Life
  • Poverty & Want
  • The Evils of Envy, Greed, Jealousy, Anger, Hatred and Superstition


For many years I allowed others to take control of my mind and I drifted through life living a life of convenience with very few elements being of my own choosing. After I hit "the bottom" through depression, poor health, fear, doubt, worry and debt, I began to design the life that I wanted.

Today, I have made drastic changes and every aspect of my life has been chosen by me. Perhaps there are parts that are not 100% of my choosing, but every single aspect is improving steadily towards my vision and my ideals.

All of the improvements in my life came from having a concrete vision of what I desired. I began to write down my goals, my wants, and my vision. I began to reverse engineer and design the life that I wanted. I am very happy to enjoy the blessings that Napoleon Hill names above and be free of the penalties he warns against.

In your own life, ask yourself: Are you living a life of convenience or a life of choice? If you are living a life of convenience, begin to write a vision plan detailing every aspect of your ideal life. When your vision is put into words and written down, the subconscious brain will begin working towards the life of your dreams.

Thanks for reading,
By: Stefan Aarnio
Freedomway.ca
facebook.com/stefanaarnio
https://twitter.com/stefanaarnio
http://ca.linkedin.com/in/stefanaarnio

Get Stefan Aarnio's book "Money People Deal: The Fastest Way to Real Estate Wealth" at MoneyPeopleDeal.com!

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Poverty Sucks: The top 5 Reasons Why you need to become rich in the next 10 years.

12/5/2012

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By: Stefan Aarnio
Freedomway.ca
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In North America, the middle class is quickly becoming an endangered species.

In many ways, opportunity for middle income jobs is disappearing quickly as the jobs migrate overseas to India, China, Brazil and other up and coming economies.

In both Canada and the USA, we are quickly becoming a third world country.

The best definition can find for a third world country is: A country where there is no middle class – only rich and poor.

There are many factors that threaten and endanger the middle class, some of which are:

1)   Unions and inflated labor prices in North America that keep the USA and Canada from competing on the world market

2)   North American consumer demand for the lowest possible prices of consumer goods aka: Wal-mart. North American consumers will not pay premiums for locally produced goods.

3)   The death of American manufacturing

4)   The Federal Reserve, Quantitative easing and inflated money supply

5)   Rising oil, food and real estate prices as a result of Quantitative easing.

6)   Rising minimum wage while middle income earners have stagnant earnings

7)   Technology that eliminates certain jobs every year, ie: Clerical jobs replaced by automation.

8)   Rising taxes and fiscally irresponsible governments

All of the above factors are a threat to the shrinking middle class and as the world becomes more global, many more middle-income jobs will disappear.

Why hire an assistant in Winnipeg for $12-$15 per hour when you can hire a virtual assistant who speaks perfect English with better education in the Philippines for $1.50-$4 per hour?

An MBA graduate in the USA costs a company $300,000 a year while the same MBA graduate from India costs $30,000 a year.

The world is changing rapidly and, for many, it is time to make a decision between joining the ranks of the rich or poor.

Eventually, there will be no middle ground in the North American economy. If a person wants to keep living a middle class lifestyle, he or she may have to move to Brazil.

If given the choice between living rich or poor, everyone always says they would choose to be rich. However, when you survey the actions of the average person, it is quickly evident that most people choose  a life of poverty over a life of wealth.

The top 5 reasons why “Poverty Sucks” and why you need to be Rich in the next 10 years.

1)   You don’t get what you want in life: People who choose a poverty mindset over a wealth mindset ask themselves “what is the cheapest thing I can afford?” For these people, life is controlled and dictated by prices – not value. When you go to a restaurant for dinner, do you order the cheapest thing on the menu? Or do you order what you actually want to eat?

2)   Lack of Freedom: When you have a poverty mindset, other people make critical decisions for you. Most people are 100% controlled by their government and their employer. If you want the freedom to make your own decisions, it may be time to build a wealth mindset. Every great experience in life has a price of admission, if you want the experience, you have to pay for it. America’s jails are filled with people who have absolutely no freedom. Most American prisoners made less than $10,000 per year before entering the prison system. When you are impoverished, you are stuck in survival mode and cannot get into “creation mode” where you can freely create wealth and the life you want.

3)   Lack of confidence and health: Lack of funds creates stress. Everything in life is difficult if you cannot pay the price of admission. Stress is a major threat to health and wealth. Lack of funds also creates a lack of confidence, which can be a vicious cycle. No funds equals no confidence and no confidence equals no funds. If you are in this cycle, break it immediately.

4)   Broken Homes: The #1 cause of broken homes and divorce is financial stress. Financial infidelity aka: hiding bank accounts, secret spending and secret credit cards ruins trust and relationships. Divorced families are much more likely to be faced with poverty and financial problems.

5)   Debt: Nearly 50% of the families in the USA are 1 paycheque away from bankruptcy. We live in a paycheque to paycheque society where overspending and money mis-management makes debt a necessity for survival. Today with credit cards, it’s easier than ever to get into debt. Although debt is a convenient way to take care of immediate problems, it is a double-edged sword. Debt will let you do the things you want today while robbing you of the things you want in the future.

All of the above reasons can create cycles of poverty that are very difficult to break.

Unfortunately, in the future, there will only be rich and poor in North America unless some major changes are made. I have heard many experts say that next 10 years will be the biggest wealth transfer in history and best time in history to become very rich... or very poor.

The USA is in a recession that may turn into a depression and this means that businesses, real estate and other assets will be on sale. There will be more opportunity than ever to become wealthy.

The best part of living in a free country like the USA or Canada is that each of us has the ability to choose between becoming Rich or Poor.

Thanks for reading,

Stefan Aarnio

Freedomway.ca
facebook.com/stefanaarnio
https://twitter.com/stefanaarnio
http://ca.linkedin.com/in/stefanaarnio

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Crushing Defeat or Wild Success? The 3 Pillars of a Support System

11/29/2012

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By: Stefan Aarnio
Freedomway.ca
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In the early 1900’s, an author by the name of Napoleon Hill was commissioned by Andrew Carnegie (The steel magnate) to interview the top 500 richest people in the world and create the common formula for great riches. After many years of hard work, Napoleon Hill published his masterpiece “Think and Grow Rich”. The book contained the formula for great riches and Napoleon Hill became very wealthy himself by teaching people around the globe the secret to creating great wealth.

Throughout history, many people have searched far and wide for the formula for riches. Some people would call it the Philosopher’s stone (the stone that could turn lead to gold) or the fountain of youth.

The truth is, Napoleon Hill’s formula for great riches is all of the above. It can turn lead (or even thin air) into gold and can also preserve youth and beauty if used correctly.

Man has scoured the earth for these arcane abilities and yet, everything a person needs to know about success is in the book “Think and Grow Rich”.

Relatively recently, a Canadian entrepreneur and author by the name of Doug Vermeeren studied the formula for wealth and decided to do a modern study of Napoleon Hill’s work.

Doug interviewed the top 500 achievers in the world including CEO’s of major corporations, sports stars, actors, athletes and many types of people that were excluded from Napoleon Hill’s list (which were mostly industrialists, inventors and entreprneurs).

Throughout Doug’s study, he has been able to add extra insight to Napoleon Hill’s work and in some circles Doug Vermeeren has been given the title of “the modern day Napoleon Hill”.

I recently had the privilege of spending a day with Doug Vermeeren and I was fortunate to have him pass on some knowledge to me.


One concept that Doug shared was “the 3 pillars for achievement”.

Throughout Doug’s studies, he found that there are 3 things that top achievers all have:

THE 3 PILLARS FOR TOP ACHIEVEMENT:

1)   Affectionate Loving Parents

2)   A supportive partner

3)   A deep religious faith

The common denominator between affectionate loving parents, a supportive partner and a deep religious faith is that every one of the “pillars” supports achiever in the mental, physical, emotional and spiritual realms.



In other words, the top achiever is not succeeding alone, but has extra support in all aspects of life. This person has the power of many, but is perceived as succeeding alone.

To paraphrase T Harv Ecker, money is created in the physical realm because it is a “print out” of the mental, emotional and spiritual realms.

Wealth and riches are created inside of us in intangible realms and the results are manifested through physical success. We see the results of the wealth physically, but do not see the mental, physical, emotional changes, shifts and support systems that manifest physical wealth, money and success.

When we examine the three pillars for top achievement, we can easily see why top achievers have a higher probability of success if they possess all three pillars.

AFFECTIONATE LOVING PARENTS: Affectionate loving parents are very important for top achievers because parents form the base of a child’s self esteem. Self-esteem is crucial to becoming a top achiever because it allows a person to take a risk. I call self-esteem “emotional capital” and people with high self-esteem are able to take risks and withdraw from their “emotional bank account”. People with abusive parents or absent parents may have depleted emotional bank accounts and will have a much harder time taking risks. Unconditional love from a parent is very important when taking risks because the risk taker will know that no matter how bad they fail, their parents will always be there to support them emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually.

A SUPPORTIVE PARTNER: When Warren Buffett was asked to give advice to a graduating class of Ivey League students he bluntly offered one pearl of wisdom: “Marry the right person”. When a top achiever is going to “put it all on the line” and chase their dream, they require their partner/spouse to do one of two things:

a)   Actively pursue the dream with them OR

b)   Passively support their partner emotionally, physically, mentally and most importantly, spiritually

Top achievers will go through hell and back to become the best in their field. There is an unwritten law in the world that states, “When you push on the world, it pushes back” and oftentimes, people who pursue excellence in their field are met with great adversity at every turn. Whether it is jealous peers, rivals or other unsavory people, the road to the top is not easy. Emotional and spiritual support from a primary relationship is absolutely essential for success to take place. Without this key support, a person will easily be crushed when faced with enough pressure and adversity. A supportive spouse will make a top achiever twice as strong and twice as resilient when “the world pushes back”. If you are single, make sure you heed Buffett’s advice and marry the right person.

A DEEP RELIGIOUS FAITH: Faith is a key ingredient to great success and achievement. I have shifted my spiritual belief system many times in my life but have always retained one key factor called “faith”. Faith is an extremely important part of success because faith allows a person to make leaps in logic.

For example, if we want to be the best salesperson in the country, but have only made a handful of sales, logic would tell us that our outcome of becoming the best to be very unlikely. If we listen to logic, we will always give up without trying.

However, if we feel it in our heart, guts, mind, body, and soul that we believe that we will become the best salesperson in the country, then faith will allow us to leap over the logical argument and pursue our vision with burning determination.

Faith is one of the most powerful techniques that top achievers use because it can help us to achieve things that are unbelievable, improbable and super-human. Faith allows us to harness the greater invisible spiritual forces around us that some would call “the power of intention”, “infinite intelligence”, “the universe” or “god” and use these forces to achieve our wildest dreams against all odds.

WARNING: Although faith can be extremely powerful in the positive sense, faith itself is a double-edged sword. Faith allows the user to leap in logic, which can be used in a positive way to achieve greater goals with no prior experience. However, faith can also leap logic in the wrong direction and create a closed off mind that can completely cripple a thinking mind. Use faith wisely and consider the cause and effect of such a wildly powerful tool. As the label often reads on potent substances: read the manual, consult a professional and use with extreme caution.

Although we often see success in it’s physical manifestation, true success is first created in the non-physical realms of the spiritual, mental and emotional. Only once “inner” success has been found can “outer” physical success be manifested through wealth and riches.

Having a strong support system in the intangible realms through loving parents, a supportive spouse and a strong religious faith are the foundation of the structure that is required to reach the stars and become a top achiever.

Take a moment to take an inventory of your life and your support system. Ask yourself “Which parts of this system do I have today?” and “which parts are lacking?” find ways to strengthen your deficiencies and create stronger relationships.

In the end, no one succeeds alone and great relationships can make the difference between wild success and crushing defeat.

Like grass, relationships require watering and maintenance. Take care of your relationships, water them, fertilize them, manicure them and watch them grow. Consistently be mindful of your support network, treat your support network better than gold and your results will be startling.

Thanks for reading,

Stefan Aarnio

Freedomway.ca

facebook.com/stefanaarnio

https://twitter.com/stefanaarnio

http://ca.linkedin.com/in/stefanaarnio

P.S: Please share this article if you found it helpful!


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No Risk Profits: Know your audience and give them what they want.

11/20/2012

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Photo: My colleague's condo that is not selling.

By Stefan Aarnio
Freedomway.ca
facebook.com/stefanaarnio

Today I was flying from Winnipeg to Chicago with a colleague of mine and we were talking about business building and namely flipping houses for profit.

My colleague mentioned that he was having trouble selling his condo that had been sitting on the market for quite some time.

He initially put his condo on the Winnipeg MLS with a competent realtor at $120,000. The condo is between 400 and 500 square feet, 1 bedroom, located in downtown Winnipeg and has no parking.

The comparables for the condo indicated that it could be sold for $120,000. 


Since Winnipeg is a semi-hot market, the realtor listed the condo at $99,000 hoping to get a bidding war.

However, the condo has sat on the market for 5 months with little to no interest. 

There is absolutely nothing wrong with the condo, it's cosmetically appealing, priced well and should theoretically sell quickly on the market.

However, serious buyers have avoided this condo for 5 months.

The price dropped from $99,000 to $95,000. Next it dropped from $95,000 to $89,900 firm. Yesterday, my colleague got an offer for $80,000 and his realtor was suggesting that he close at $85,000.

What went wrong with the well priced, cosmetically appealing condo in Downtown Winnipeg? It hasn’t sold even though it is priced $20,000 under comparable value.

I asked my friend if the condo had parking, he replied “no”. Immediately, I knew what the issue was.

I asked him what the demographics were like in the building and he said that it’s composed of mostly students who take the bus to the local university.

At $99,000 or less, this condo is very well priced and a good product, however, no parking and the downtown location create two problems:

1)   Downtown locations have no peripheral street parking.

2)   If the condo doesn’t come with parking, there is nowhere to park the buyer’s car.

People who can qualify for mortgages have jobs, which usually require cars, which require parking. No parking is a huge issue and limits the profile of buyers who would find this product attractive.

Further, the purchasing power of a person looking to buy a condo in the $100,000 to $150,000 range is too great. There are far too many options in the condo market in Winnipeg in that price range and a buyer can easily get a new condo, with parking, in a location of their choice.

My colleague’s product is a nice product, however, his audience is very limited and the people who would like to purchase the product (namely students) do not have the money or purchasing power to buy.

A rule I have learned in my career thus far: The people who are very enthusiastic about buying usually have no money. 

I used to see examples of this rule all the time when I used to rent out my affordable luxury rental suites. People that were the most eager to buy had no purchasing power. Another challenge was the people who actually had cash had a wide range of options and really needed to be sold to buy.

To capture a person with purchasing power, you need to offer the best product at the right price and make your option the only option in the category. My friend with no parking will have a very hard time competing in his category.

When I began my business career, I would create a product I liked and would attempt to build or engineer an audience for it. This formula was extremely painful for me. I lost money numerous times and felt the crushing defeat of failure after failure while trying to create markets for my products. Creating a market and demand for a product is very expensive, very intense and very risky. I would not recommend it to anyone.

 

BUSINESS RULE: Do not try to create an audience, find an audience and give them what they want.

Today in my career, Instead of creating a audiences, I find audiences who are looking for specific products and offer them what they are looking for.

This subtle difference has made the difference between the failures of my past and my current successes.

For example, 2 years ago, rental vacancy in Winnipeg was 0.7% so I built affordable luxury rental units to fill the demand. The units were quickly absorbed by the market and have been 100% occupied since day one. I found an audience and gave them what they wanted.

In January this year I noticed that there were a local investors looking for good cash flowing Real Estate Deals. I made it my mission to find them Deals, partnered with them and have done 12 Joint Ventures this year. Finding partners has not been hard because I fill the demand of the audience.

In the Real Estate Investor world I am approached weekly for mentoring, coaching as well as speaking. I did not get into Real Estate to be a speaker, coach or mentor, but I have started offering services as the demand dictates. If the audience wants coaching, I offer them coaching, if they do not want coaching, I do not offer them coaching. I absolutely hate risk, so I will not invest my time into something that people do not want.

I have also noticed that there is a huge audience of investors on the Internet searching for information. To feed this demand, I have been providing valuable, organic daily blog content to the audience and the results have been overwhelming. My blog has become my secret sauce.


The lesson that I have learned from my experiences is to know your audience inside and out. Know what they want, know what they don’t want and make sure you deliver at the right price. I no longer create speculative products and services because the risk is too high and it’s the formula for failure.

The formula for no risk profits is very simple. Find an audience, connect with them, find out what they want and deliver it at the right price.


You don’t have to be a genius to figure out the formula above and that’s why the best entrepreneurs in the world are middle school/high school/college dropouts:

Business is a simple game, keep it simple.

Thanks for reading,

Stefan Aarnio

Thanks for reading,

Stefan Aarnio

Freedomway.ca
facebook.com/stefanaarnio
https://twitter.com/stefanaarnio
http://ca.linkedin.com/in/stefanaarnio

P.S. Please share this article if you found it helpful!

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Working for FREE: If you want to be broke, work for money. If you want to get Rich, work for FREE with Canadian Rich Dad Darren Weeks

10/26/2012

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By Stefan Aarnio
Freedomway.ca

Today I spent the day in Edmonton with one of my money partners at the Fast Track SuperConference hosted by Darren Weeks. Darren is the Canadian Rich Dad, one of my mentors and a man who taught me a lesson that has made me successful to this day. I owe much of my success to Darren because I developed a skill set that very few people have (and one that is almost impossible to obtain because so few people teach the art of raising capital). When I worked for Darren I learned 1) How to sell and 2) The art of raising capital.

Darren Weeks is an extremely successful Canadian entrepreneur. His company, the Fast Track Group has been in the top 100 of the fastest growing companies in Profit magazine 3 years in a row, and when I worked for Darren, his team was the 40th fastest growing company in Canada. In my opinion, Darren's personal talent is his ability to identify and assemble groups of amazing people and with unbelievable talent who are motivated by a mission greater than themselves.

Contrary to traditional business models, The Fast Track Group was built around giving out "more education than anyone in the industry". There are few businesses who give first and receive second.

Darren prides himself on the fact that he provides more FREE value to the market than anyone else. To some people, giving out FREE information and building a business around it sounds insane, costly and risky... but I think that consumers nowadays expect FREE gifts and services before they buy - it's the trend in modern business. 

Business models that revolve around FREE gifts and services are especially strong in the financial and real estate sectors right now.

When I was 22 I attended the Fast Track Super Conference in Edmonton, I was absolutely blown away by the calibre of the company. I loved the mission, I loved the people and I loved what the company was doing for Canadians. I wanted to be a part of the group, I could feel the energy and it was infectious.

One thing Darren always used to preach when he was educating his audiences was "if you want to get rich, work for FREE." He would often pick out a young man or woman in the audience who would be just entering the work force and ask them "can you afford to work for FREE?"

Almost every time, the young man or woman would say "absolutely not!" and then Darren would teach the lesson.

The difference between the rich and the middle class/poor is that the rich do not work for money, they work for FREE. This may sound completely ridiculous to your belief system, but hear me out:

Lets consider two scenarios. 

In my personal life, when I was in my early twenties, I had two jobs at two different times. At my first job I worked for money, at my second job I worked for FREE.

MY FIRST JOB (WORKING FOR MONEY):

At age 22 I worked at Frito Lay Canada and my job was to merchandise (which is a fancy word for putting bags of chips on the shelves at 4 in the morning at Wal-Mart).

My primary motive for working with the company was the salary and the hours. I was truly chasing the dollar in every sense of the word. I wanted a salary so I could get mortgages to buy real estate. I took that job for the wrong reasons, didn't learn the proper skills in the field and it became harder and harder to get out of bed every day when I worked there. I had no passion for the industry and felt that there was nothing to learn.  

When I left the company, I had maxed out my purchasing power for properties and but had acquired ZERO skills towards building my own business. Since I had chased the dollar, I had a small cash reserve on hand, however, I had built NO SKILLS or contacts. Although I had made a little bit of money, I had built no human equity in myself, no skills and had no way of propelling myself forward towards my goals, hopes and dreams. In a way, I had traded time for money, lost my time and had crippled myself in a way.

Most people don't consider the skills they learn at work. My advice to young entrepreneurs is to leave their job once they stop learning the skills required to do it. Always work to learn. Move from job to job until you have all of the skills required to run the business of your choice.

Lesson: When it comes to work NEVER chase the dollars, find what excites you, find where your heart is and chase your passions. The money doesn't matter and it always gravitates towards the most enthusiastic people.

MY NEXT JOB (WORKING FOR FREE): I had heard Darren Weeks say on stage "If you want to get Rich, work for FREE". I took his advice, although it challenged my belief system, but I had nothing to lose so I and volunteered for his company whenever he was in town.

Every time Darren was in town, I would dress up in a suit, show up early, leave late, pack and unpack books, process paperwork, seat people, help out with sound-production and do any task that was required of me. I expected NO financial compensation and just wanted to be on the team.

I volunteered for Darren for three years and I applied to work for his company three times. Twice I was rejected for the job and the third time I applied I said, "I have been volunteering at this company over the past 3 years, I have applied twice and been rejected, I will keep applying until you hire me".

I then flew to Edmonton and volunteered at a Fast Track Super Conference event shortly after my interview. Darren Weeks noticed that I had flown from Winnipeg to Edmonton (on my own money) to volunteer to work for him. After the event, he personally took the time out of his evening to offer me a job with the company. 

What Darren didn't know was that I had already been hired to start work with the company and on the following monday I was to begin formal training.

Consider the lesson: working for FREE and volunteering had grabbed the attention of the founder of the company and had brought me onto the team OF MY CHOICE.

Now that I was positioned in the only company I wanted to work for, I got paid to learn more about the topics I was already passionate about. I was in heaven.

I got paid to sharpen my skills and become an extremely valuable asset to myself. I learned the art of sales, how to do public presentations, how to run an office, how to recruit good employees, how to fire bad employees, prospecting, sales tracking, databases, securities regulations and public speaking.

Most importantly, I learned how to raise capital and work with investors. This has been my "secret sauce" in my business and it's what sets me apart from other real estate investors who DO NOT have the skill set.

These skills are the base of my empire and the building blocks of my portfolio. I have based my entire career and current business around skills that I acquired by working for FREE.

Had I not volunteered at the company first, I would have had no chance of working with them. I would be of no value to their tribe and I would not have learned the skill set that makes me valuable today.

Every morning, you would still see a wandering soul putting bags of Doritos on the shelf at Walmart at 5:00am. I would have throttled passions and big dreams, but no way of executing them or aligning with other people who matter.

Lesson: Every week I meet young people who are passionate about a certain field or career. Many people say they are passionate about music, art, acting, sports, television, radio etc. and don't know how to break into those "hard to enter" industries. Whenever I study a highly successful person, I notice that almost all of them worked for FREE scrubbing toilets, mopping floors or doing the most pointless jobs at the bottom of the barrel just to be a part of the industry of their choice. Unfortunately, young people today do not see such opportunity.

Steven Spielberg began his brilliant career in film by just "showing up" to the movie studio, wearing a suit and pretending to be a director in an abandoned office. He was a film student who pretended to work there and snuck into the studio every day. The people at the studio assumed he worked there and eventually his passion for film brought him an opportunity to make his first film.

Steve Jobs of Apple was too poor to pay for his college education so he collected aluminum cans on campus and would cash them in to eat his next meal. Jobs had no money, so he would sit in the university classes for free and let his mind absorb the information. The FREE classes he attended for no credit became the building blocks of the apple philosophy. Steve was genius who blended liberal arts with technology. If he were paying for the classes and chasing marks/credits, he would not have been so creative and open in his approach.

Trent Reznor, the frontman of of the iconic band Nine Inch Nails, got a job as a janitor at a recording studio where he mopped floors and poured coffee for 8+ hours a day. He shared an apartment with a friend and ate peanut butter sandwiches for years just so that he could earn studio time to make his debut record in the middle of the night when the studio was vacant.

The most brilliant people in the world, the people who are at the top of their game and dominate their fields with enthusiasm, passion and leadership often started at the bottom working for FREE.

The reason why working for free is so powerful is:
  1. It gets you in the door, an employer can't say "no" to free labor
  2. You make contacts in the industry of your choice immediately
  3. You learn the business form the "ground up"
  4. When a job opens up, you are first in line because you are at the business and eager to work anyways - you are the best choice!
  5. If you aren't passionate about the industry you won't last long, you will weed yourself out to find your true passion
  6. Over time you gain experience and you will either be hired by the company you are volunteering for OR A COMPETITOR of theirs. This is a no lose strategy if you stick with it.
  7. You free your mind from "chasing the dollars" which can limit your creativity. You will approach the industry with a creative, fresh perspective. This is priceless in the long run.


If I lost everything tomorrow, had no skills, no money, no contacts and no experience I would re-discover what I am excited about and offer to work for FREE in the industry.

Of course I would need some income to live, so I would get a job at McDonalds for 8 hours of the day (or another McJob) that is not too stressful, then work for the company of my choice for FREE in the other 8 hours. I would continue this 80 hour a week routine until I am hired by the company of my choice and then I would quit my McJob.

I would then gain all of the skills I need to be successful in my industry and re-evaluate my position. I would likely find a way to start my own business in the same industry and leave as fast as possible as soon as I stop learning.

Exercise: Take a step back from where you spend your time on a daily basis. Ask yourself: Are you chasing dollars? Or are you building valuable skills in an industry of your choice? Is your work based on passion and enthusiasm? Would you keep working there if they stopped paying you?

I used to say when I was in the music industry "You know you're in the right industry when you can work 18 hours a day, lose money and still wake up the next day to do it all over again." Follow your heart and make a choice of passion and NOT logic.

Thanks for reading,
Stefan Aarnio
Freedomway.ca

P.S. Please share this article if you found it helpful!


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Mastering Relationships: The 7 levels of intimacy, a system by Matthew Kelly

10/25/2012

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By Stefan Aarnio
Freedomway.ca

In the words of the famous poet John Donne:

"No man is an island."

Whether you are a new born baby or the President of the United States, we all rely on relationships and our networks for our basic survival and our ability to thrive.

For those of us who are pursuing entrepreneurship, business or real estate investing; our relationships are our one and only asset.

We all hear the guru's say: "your network equals your net worth", but how do we build, grow and maintain a rich network of people?

The most successful people in society are the ones who can establish, build and maintain a large number of significant, intimate, relationships.

But how do we connect on a significant level?

Most people are fairly adept at establishing relationships with people who are similar to themselves. They can find similar interests and form "intimacy" and bonds with people who are THE SAME as them over time.

However, most people do not understand the rudiments of establishing a relationship. Further, most people do not know how to master intimacy and bring people closer to them quicker.

Mathew Kelly is an author and relationship expert who wrote one of the books that influenced entitled: "The Seven Levels of Intimacy".

I have studied Mathew's work for years and have applied it in my networking, personal life, sales, negotiations and important meetings. It helps me understand people and truly connect with them so that I can find what they need and actually help them.

Mastering the 7 levels of intimacy can make or break you when meeting someone COLD and you know nothing about them. Many of us are talented at working with WARM meetings, but COLD meetings have higher requirements for establishing connection.

I am naturally a "people person" and can connect very easily with people. However, it's not enough to know HOW to connect... we must understand WHY we connect and HOW connection is established.

The 7 Levels of Intimacy are in sequential order:
  1. Cliché's
  2. Facts
  3. Opinions
  4. Hopes and Dreams
  5. Feelings
  6. Weaknesses and Fears
  7. Needs

The seven levels of intimacy work in a sequence. You cannot jump to the next level of intimacy without succeeding on the previous level.

For example, conversations flow through the levels of intimacy in sequence from level 1 to level 7 and they do not deviate from this rule - EVER. It's very hard to jump to the "next level" without satisfying the previous level. Furthermore, if you create a disagreement and blockage at a level, you will not advance into the higher levels until you remove the blockage. These levels need to flow and creating conflict at one level will stop the sequence of connecting.

For illustration purposes, I will artificially construct a conversation between two hypothetical people that could accelerate from level 1-7 in less than 3 minutes:
  1. LEVEL 1: Cliché's - ME: "hey, how are you?"... YOU: "I'm good!"
  2. LEVEL 2: Facts - ME: "Did you get caught in the rain today?". YOU: "yes I did, I can't believe the amount of rain outside!!"
  3. LEVEL 3: Opinions - ME: "What do you think about the Winnipeg Jets coming back to town?" YOU: "I think it's great for the city, it really helps put us on the map."
  4. LEVEL 4: Hopes and Dreams ME: "It sure does put us on the map! Why were you running around in the rain today? What would you rather be doing?" YOU: "Ugh, I was running around in the rain because I'm making deliveries for my office, I'd rather be travelling the world!"
  5. LEVEL 5: Feelings ME: "How would you feel if you didn't have to run around in the rain any more and could travel the world in the way you want?" ... YOU "I would absolutely love that. Nothing excites me more than travelling".
  6. LEVEL 6: Fears/Weaknesses - ME "What is stopping you from pursuing your dream? What's holding you back?" ... YOU "I don't want to burden my family with my selfish dream, I need to support them or they won't survive without me"
  7. LEVEL 7: Needs - ME "Hmmm... What would your family need to survive so that you can pursue your dream and everyone remains happy?" YOU "well... etc."

Whenever I am in conversation with someone, whether it is brief 5 minute meeting or a long 2 hour talk, I like to know WHERE I am in the 7 levels of intimacy so that I can accelerate and move to the next level if I feel like I need to.

Everyone has needs, and if you can find another person's needs, you can truly help them and create life lasting bonds and relationships. 

NOTE: If you are selling or negotiating, you cannot "close" until you are on level 7.

The majority of the population are pre-programmed to be socially guarded and will conceal weaknesses and needs until you have successfully moved through levels 1-5.

TIP: Once you have hit level 5 (feelings) you have reached an emotional level and connection starts to begin. 

Many newbie networkers, salespeople or negotiators will ask right of the bat "what are your needs, what do you need?". I especially see this in the network marketing community when I get pitched by new network marketers.

TIP: If you are going to meet someone for lunch, talk for 58 minutes to build a relationship and 2 minutes of transactional business at the very end. Get them up to level 7 and close in the last 2 minutes. So many people try to talk business far too early and not use their time to establish a proper connection or analysis of what the other person truly needs. Approach the other person with a "how can I help you?" attitude.

Trying to connect on level 7 without building rapport, connection or intimacy through levels 1-6 is nearly impossible. You will get concealment of facts and lies about levels 6 and 7 until you have established a proper base connection.

At best, your prospect will feed you a lie to deflect your inquiry about their higher level needs and will likely say: "I'm fine, I really don't need anything". 

How often do we hear that on a daily basis from the people around us?

EVERYONE NEEDS SOMETHING, WE ARE ALL LOOKING FOR THINGS. WE ALL NEED THINGS ALL THE TIME. THE QUESTION IS, WHAT DOES OUR COMPANION NEED?

Connection happens when you are able to navigate the conversation through levels 1-7 in the proper sequence, you may find out that (for example) "Their father just died and they're feeling vulnerable. They are the executor of his house and don't know who to talk to about real estate. They are looking for an expert. They don't like realtors and need to sell immediately but afraid of contracts, contracotrs, salespeople and commissions. They also don't want to pay for repairs."

Opportunities come from connecting and being intimate with the people we come into contact with.

All people, rich or poor want one thing... We all want to connect. If you can connect with a person, and move them through the levels of intimacy without creating conflict or blockage in the sequence, you will find what motivates them, what scares them, what their concerns are and finally what they NEED to feel secure to work with  you.

Mathew Kelly has recognized a brilliant pattern in social behaviour and has cracked the mechanical code for human connection. If you can memorize or learn a few key questions to "move through the levels", then you will never be stuck in a conversation with nothing to say ever again. You will never be stagnant and will be a master of connection.

The following questions are ones that I have learned years ago and memorized from  http://www.villagecounseling.net. Knowing a few of these key transition questions will transform you into an instant "people person". I have seen results for years using this method and have been connecting deeper and faster with people than ever before. Please enjoy the following resource:

Questions to Help You Navigate the 7 Levels of Intimacy:


  1. Cliché
    • How are you?
    • What have you been up to lately?
  2. Facts
    • Non-personal
      • What was the score of the game?
      • What is the weather forecast?
    • Personal
      • What did you do today?
      • What have you learned recently?
      • What have you been reading lately?
      • What is your favorite color, food, song etc.?
  3. Opinions
    • What are your preferences concerning…?
    • What are your beliefs about…?
    • What do you think about…?
  4. Hopes and Dreams
    • If you could live any way you liked, how would you like to live?
    • If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you like to live?
    • What goals do you have for your life?
    • What area of study would you like to become an expert in?
    • If you could be famous for something, what would you like to be famous for?
    • What would you like written on your tombstone? In your obituary?
    • Who would you like to help? How would you help them if you could?
    • What one thing would make you truly happy?
    • Who are the people you’d like to learn from in life?
    • What personal qualities do you hope to develop in the future?
    • What skills do you hope to develop in your lifetime?
    • What do you dream about being the best in the world at doing?
    • What are 5 things you dream about having?
    • What are 5 things you dream about doing?
    • What are 5 things you dream about being?
    • Who are 5 people or groups you dream about helping?
    • What would you do if you knew you could not fail at it?
  5. Feelings
    • When in our life have you felt special to others?
    • Who in your life made you feel safe, loved, accepted? How did they do that?
    • Who in your life made you feel the most rejected, devalued, abandoned, invisible?
    • What are you most passionate about?
    • What do you feel about:
      • Your relationship to God?
      • Your most significant friendship?
      • Your relationship to your parents?
      • Your relationship to co-workers?
      • Your reputation in the community?
    • How secure do you feel in your life right now? (Why, or Why not?)
    • How significant do you feel in your ability to contribute to others, to your community, to the world? (In what way? Why, or Why not?)
    • Do you feel like you are becoming the person you want to be?
    • Do you feel like you belong?
    • Do you feel competent in your ability to build something of value?
    • What are the biggest hurts have you experienced in the past?

  6. Fears, Failures, Weaknesses
    • What makes you feel like you don’t measure up?
    • What makes you feel like you are unlovable?
    • What do you think would make others reject you?
    • What are some lies you’ve been told in the past?
    • What do you feel you must hide from others out of fear that they would reject you?
    • What makes you feel ignored?
    • What makes you feel rejected?
    • What makes you feel humiliated?
    • What makes you feel incompetent?
    • What makes you feel like a failure?
    • What makes you feel inadequate?
    • What is your biggest fear in life?
  7. Needs
    • Spirit – what do you need to thrive spiritually?
    • Soul – what do you need to thrive in your relationships?
    • Mind – what do you need to learn and grow in to thrive mentally?
    • Strength – what do you need thrive physically?
    • When have you experienced great joy?
    • Describe what you think constitutes true happiness?
    • How do you help others experience joy?
    • What do you need in order to be secure?
    • What do you need in order to be safe?
    • What do you need in order to be significant?
    • What do you need in order to be competent?
    • What do you need in order to be powerful?
    • What do you need in order to belong?
    • What do you need to be clear about?
    • What do you need in order to build something of lasting value?
    • What do you need to know God better?
    • What do you need to feel special to others?
    • What do you need in order to feel like you are understood?
    • What do you need in order to do something great?
    • What do you need in order to achieve something that will last?
    • What recognition do you need?

If you can memorize a few of these key transition questions to "accelerate" and master conversational intimacy then you will connect every time! You will become a master of creating personal connection with the people you network with, meet, sell and negotiate with. I can guarantee that you will see HUGE results in the depth of personal connection and opportunity in every relationship. If you can master the system above.

I challenge you take some time to study this list and implement it in your day to day interactions, you will not be disappointed.

Thanks for reading,
Stefan Aarnio
Freedomway.ca

P.S. Please share this article if you found it helpful!

P.P.S. "The 7 levels of intimacy" is available in the Resource section of Freedomway.ca should you wish to purchase a copy (highly recommended).


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    Stefan Aarnio

    Stefan Aarnio is a Real Estate Investor, entrepreneur and artist based out of Winnipeg, Manitoba.His real estate website is Freedom Way Joint Ventures  His art can be seen at http://stefanaarnioart.com

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